


there are letters from a thousand miles

by stationlittle



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:29:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stationlittle/pseuds/stationlittle
Summary: Kaidan and Liara try to find Shepard.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mass Effect Poly Week.  
> Prompt by iarinthel: "I'd like to see Liara/Kaidan/Shepard having a reunion after the war is over. Just, something fluffy to soothe the heart after that ending."  
> This is definitely less fluffy than it could be, but I swear I tried! :D
> 
> Title is from 'Poem Of Absence' by Frances Horovitz.
> 
> Betareading: bisexualryder on tumblr, thank you so much!

He writes a letter every day. Sometimes it's full of sentences that he lets escape. Other times there are only two or three words.  
_Come back._  
_We miss you._  
He holds Liara in his arms every night and whispers to her.  
_‘We'll find her.’_  
"I hope so," she replies.

In his dreams, Shepard is very much alive. It isn't an indication of what is happening right now, at a perfect time and place, but it tells him something. He feels it in his gut, he would know if she was dead.  
He doesn't tell Liara about the dreams, but she might hear him in his sleep.  
Today he wakes up at 4AM. Goes to the mess. Makes himself a cup of tea. Garrus is there, busy reading a report. He looks tired, as far as Kaidan can tell.  
"You alright?" Garrus asks when he sees him.  
"I should ask you the same thing," Kaidan replies.  
He doesn't like pretending. Never really liked it, but he's been more honest since the Reaper War ended. It makes people a bit wary of him, except those who know him well. The crew of the Normandy, they stand together. They have to, especially in her absence.

_None of us are alright._

Hackett always drops by to see Liara. Every Monday, like clockwork. His shuttle stays in the cargo bay while he takes the elevator to Liara's room - now shared with Kaidan.  
He lets them talk alone. Usually, Liara comes out of the meeting with a grim look on her face. It tells him the relays aren't ready, that nothing is fixed yet.  
But today is different. He can see it in her eyes. She looks… almost happy.  
"What did he say?"  
"Soon, it's going to happen soon!" she says, a smile on her face. "Kaidan, this is what we've been waiting for!"  
He starts laughing, he can't help it. She laughs with him, before jumping into his arms.

They share kisses but always remember someone's missing. Always.  
There are days where it's bearable, there are days when it's clearly not. Today is one of those days. They're lying on the bed, barely touching.  
"What if we don't find her?" Liara asks. "What if she's dead and her corpse is somewhere in the Citadel?"  
He can tell she's crying. "What if we don't find her body?"  
_‘Shhh,’_ he says. _‘Shhh, it's alright.’_  
He's not going to lie.  
"I believe we'll find her, alive. I have to believe it."  
She calms down. He hears her breathing, so reassuring next to his.  
"You're right," she says, after a few minutes. "I can't have doubts, not now. She needs us."

It's been two years, four months and nine days.

"It's not going to be easy," she said.  
He hummed.  
"But you want this?"  
He nodded.  
She smiled at him, in a shy but happy way, and he knew he had said something that made her happy.  
"We'll have to tell Liara."  
Liara who he had always liked from afar. Liara who shared quiet times with him, a hot beverage in their hands. Liara who told him stories. Liara who changed and matured.  
Liara who intrigued him.  
It took some time for him to admit that it was possible to love two people at the same time without betraying one of them, but he was sure now. It was clear as day.  
"I want this."  
Shepard kissed him.  
"Good," she said. "Because I want this too."

 _We're coming for you._  
This is the last letter he writes. He wraps them all, figures she might read them later.

The passage through the relay - it's the scariest thing they've done. They don't know if it's going to work… silence fills the cockpit as Joker gets the Normandy ready for the trip. Kaidan's arms are crossed in front of him, his eyes are closed.  
He counts in his head.  
_5, 4, 3, 2, 1._  
The Normandy goes through the relay. It works. He hears the sighs of relief around him, can't believe it.  
That's when Joker starts to talk, startling everyone.  
A signal he's sending everywhere. Broadcasting on all frequencies.  
"Shepard, this is the Normandy. Do you copy?"  
When silence is their only answer, he sees Liara shaking her head.  
"No," she says. "She might not hear it, she might be busy or-"  
He holds her hand. She almost crushes it.  
They wait.  
"Shepard, this is the Normandy. Do you copy?" Joker repeats.  
Finally, he hears it. It's her voice. He has missed it _so much_.  
"Normandy, this is Shepard. I copy."

He remembers the last time he heard that voice.  
‘Go,’ she said to them, as she ran toward the danger. Liara was holding him, he could barely stand.  
It seems so far away now. He smiles. They're going to make new memories.

"Dear Shepard, we tried going back to your quarters but we can't stay there. It's too hard. I hope you can forgive us. I think... I think it would be better for us to come back when you're there, with us. To soothe the wounds, so to speak."  
Shepard raises her head, smiles and looks around her: "I admit I missed those quarters. My own shower!"  
"We sure wanted to use it," Liara jokes.  
They're sitting on her bed, the three of them.  
Kaidan doesn't say anything. He knows how the letter ends, even if he wrote it years ago.  
Shepard keeps reading, "I keep replaying the last moments of the war in my head. I keep thinking there is a way to save you, to bring you with us." She pauses to glance at him, before going back to the letter: "I'm scared, Shepard. I'm scared, because I know you're alone right now, and we can't reach you. I wish you knew how much-"  
The letter ends. Shepard drops it on the bed, and stares at Kaidan.  
"I knew," she says, after a few seconds of silence. "I knew, but I'm glad you wrote it anyway."

It goes like this: no one cries. They all want to, but they don't. What they do, however, is kiss and hold each other with an intensity that scares them a little.  
"You came back," Shepard says.  
She says it over and over again.  
_You came back._

They did.


End file.
